"There are parts of me that wish I could forget. That the sting of memories would fade from places, and old words once said would sink away into oblivion. But there is more of me that would hate myself forever if I ever tried to forget; please try to understand. I find you everywhere, in the side streets of my favorite city, with the sound of a camera shutter following me all the while. In a bustling restaurant, pale ale in hand, smirking at me from across the table. I loved watching everyone marvel at you. In the parking lots of many of my favorite food establishments with dangling lips saying things like “cya later babes.” In short drives to everywhere and nowhere. In parking lots at 1am and sandy beaches at 2pm, you have seemingly scattered yourself in every place I will ever be around here. In my bed, on my bed, oh god you were there. Sometimes on warm evenings I can still see you walking through my door, and the way you looked so gentle, so fitting, in my four walls. You must understand, that you love, are everywhere here. And I…well I am no where to be found there. I am distant to you, far more than you are to me I’m sure. I am not pleading, not begging, never pushing, just floating; bobbing in and out of old memories all the while trying not to drown in them. You are to beautiful to forget in a myriad of ways. Never would I try to. The tolls of nostalgia flood my head and my heart, the presents greatest downfall, and my greatest weakness. Just understand that I am trying, at what I have no clue, but I am wading in your presence trying not to turn blue. And in some great leap of faith, I’m here, irrevocably still yours, wondering if it’s me or you with one foot out the door."
Al (via coffeeisneverstrongenough
(Source: soaked-insoul, via parasite-s3x)
i hope u find someone that mindlessly plays with your hands and lightly strokes your legs and massages your back and plays with your hair and i hope that u feel like you’re home when u look at them